


Spider Ambassador; or, How Lt Dicer Made Peace On Atollon

by aron_kristina



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Crack, Episode Tag, Gen, Giant Spiders, Spiders, the mystery of chopper base
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6341290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aron_kristina/pseuds/aron_kristina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lt Dicer thought she was gonna get eaten by spiders. The spiders had a different idea. (mild spoilers for the mystery of chopper base)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spider Ambassador; or, How Lt Dicer Made Peace On Atollon

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't like the way Lt Dicer was just forgotten when they found Rex, so I wrote this, which I'm sure is more or less what happened anyway. Quick and dirty, un-beta'ed.
> 
> In the credits after the episode the name is spelled Dieser, but on starwars.com it's spelled Dicer. I went with the starwars.com spelling.

Being dragged off by spiders is not necessarily Lt Dicer's idea of a good time. She lost her helmet out there somewhere, and she's trying not to get her head bashed in, because if she died before she got rescued that would just be, well, annoying. The spider is keeping a fairly tight grip on her, but it's not painful, and if that doesn't conjure up images of why it wants to keep her in one piece (she knew that old boyfriend's love of weird impregnation porn would bite her in the ass one day. Though hopefully not literally), but maybe it's just so she'll still be fresh. This is not really helping, she's tensing up and starting to hyperventilate, and going through all the relaxation techniques she knows only gets her to the point of 'not in danger of passing out'. It could be worse, but not a lot worse.

They travel for a long time, and though her panic doesn't exactly abate it does become familiar. Not even panic can hold your attention for that long (though she's not sure how long that is). Finally they arrive in something that looks like a hall of some kind, there's a certain feel to it, that it was made by sentients rather than nature. She's dropped to the floor, and the spider leaves. The hall seems empty, but there are corners that can't be seen. She's not sure where the light is coming from, but it's weak, barely enough to see by even though her eyes have had time to adjust. She starts walking around slowly to maybe find a way out when two spiders come into the hall, carrying some sort of... device? It's a box, full of cables, and she's never seen anything like it before. It's got something that looks like a very old speaker in it (the kind she's only seen in books. Ancient, really), and other strange things poking out. The spiders put it down in front of her, and then one of them starts poking it. A green light turns on at the side of the box.

On of the spiders click something at the box, and it makes a whining sort of noise.

“Hello, two-legs,” the box says. Which is just creepy. Still, no point in being rude.

“Er, hello,” she answers, and after the whining the box starts clicking. The spider clicks back at it.

“We hope you weren't frightened by the manner in which we brought you here,” the box says.

“It... was a bit scary,” she says. “Um, is this a translation device?”

“Yes,” is the answer after the back and forth clicking. “We have found that it is impossible for us and two-legs to learn each other's language. We apologize for scaring you.” It's the same spider speaking (and isn't that a sentence she'd never thought she'd think), perhaps the other one is a bodyguard or something. She wishes she had one.

“That's fine,” she says, and abruptly sits down as her legs give out. Both spiders come closer to peer at her, and that's not at all comforting.

“Do you wish to go back to your people? You smell unsettled,” the spider says, and really, she has no idea what to do with that statement.

“You're not gonna lay your eggs in me or something?” slips out before she can stop it.

“What would be the point? The shell in the eggs would be damaged by your internal fluids and the embryo would probably not survive to exchorionate.”

“Good, that's good. Why did you bring me here then?”

“Your people have built up a base on our territory. Not all of our flock is capable of cogitating, and we fear a war between our people. We would like you to tell your people to take care, and in turn we shall tell our people to not bother you. We picked you because you smelled like an honest being,” the spider says. Dicer has to pinch herself to make sure she's not dreaming, or hallucinating due to spider venom.

“You want me to act as an ambassador between our people?” she asks.

“Ambassador? Yes, that seems like a proper word. Do your people have a queen? Maybe you can ask her to meet us.”

“Queen? Yes, I suppose, yes, that would be fine... Er, how do I reach you when she's ready to speak to you?” Which might take some time, considering how she herself doesn't believe what's happening, and it's happening to her right now.

“Place you helmet outside of the base when your queen wishes to talk to us and we will come,” the spider says.

“I lost my helmet,” she says, and this is actually one thing she's certain of.

“One of your people took it back with them,” the spider says.

“Ok, then,” she says, because at this point she might as well just go with it. If it's a hallucination caused by being eaten by spiders it's at least fairly pleasant, compared to some she's had (falling into that poisonus bush is a particularly disturbing memory). “How do I get back?”

“We shall take you. And we shall bring this device closer to your base so we can speak to your queen,” the spider says, and the other one, the one apparently not designated spokesperson, spider, whatever, lifts her up again. Now that she's spoken to them she can recognize the grip as careful, but still tight enough that she won't slip. It's less terrifying this time, but only a bit.

She's dropped off outside the base, she can see it but she's sure they can't see her. The spider that had carried her clicks a bit and pokes at the ground with one of its legs. It's fairly obvious what it's trying to say even without the translation device. This is where she's going to put her helmet when they're ready to negotiate. She nods at the spider, and it clicks and leaves her. She starts waling back to base, desperately trying to think about how to explain this to her queen.


End file.
